Can't Get Right, a fat cat of indeterminate breed

AKA:
Big Blessing
Big Cat
Big Face
Big Guy
Big Pants
Big Poppa
Catbearpig
Catbutt
C.G.R.
Dr. Lounge (because he has a PhD in relaxology)
Fat Rounds
Fat Times at Ridgemont High
FatBeth
Fatticus Finch
Fatpants
Fatty von Fattenburg
Featherbelly
Featherbritches
Featherchest
Firebelly
Fluffy Britches
HMS Bigstuff
Jerkface
The Lordly Lion
Mr. Right
Mr. Whiskers
Pope of the Fatican
Precious Pants
Swaggerpants
Tons of Fun
Wheezy
You Jerk