At that age, this friend’s a little sex maniac. He’s always jonesing for a better way to get his rocks off. He goes out to buy a carrot and some petroleum jelly. To conduct a little private research. Then he pictures how it’s going to look at the supermarket checkstand, the lonely carrot and petroleum jelly rolling down the conveyer belt toward the grocery store cashier. All the shoppers waiting in line, watching. Everyone seeing the big evening he has planned.
– From “Guts” by Chuck Palahniuk
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OMG, that book was great, but it was also most definitely not something you should read while you are eating. This paragraph made me laugh! It amused me so much that I went back to read it again just for fun.